Only God Can Heal A Broken Heart

With God, All Things Are Possible

I have a broken heart.  I've had it since I was very young.  My mother broke it, and ever since I've been looking for someone or something to heal it.

I saw this when I got very quiet and allowed God to speak to me during my time of prayer and meditation.  What is the difference between prayer and meditation?  I heard it described like this:  "Prayer is when we are talking to God; meditation is when we are listening to God."

Jesus said, "...the kingdom of God is within you." Luke 17:21. We make conscious contact with God through going within ourselves.  We develop a personal relationship with God through prayer and meditation where we touch the infinite that dwells inside us. We feel with our hearts and see with our mind. We reach in for God, not out.

How do we pray or meditate?  Well, there are many books, articles and classes on the subject.  Find what works best for you. For a long time, I could only recite memorized prayers. I felt blocked.  That was because I thought God was outside of me, or was aloof, or didn't want me.  All of these are subjects for another time.  It was when, at Billy Graham's urging, I asked Jesus to come into my heart did I get it that God was a real, living entity with whom I could connect. Now I can't live without that connection.  Here is what I do.

I listen to soft, ethereal piano music while I direct my mind to God and look inside of myself.  I pray and ask for what I need or give thanks.  Sometimes I just converse and talk to Him. Then I relax and listen.

Sometimes I am on reclining on the couch.  Sometimes I'm sitting on the couch.  Sometimes I'm in a lotus position on the floor.  Sometimes I'm on my knees.  (Once I was praying it while driving. Not a good idea. You should have seen the look on the policeman's face when I gave my explanation for why I wasn't aware of my speed but assured him that my eyes were open. He gave me a warning ticket.) The point is, God doesn't care where we are when we come to Him. Prayer is for us. God already knows all about us.

I have certain books and the Bible close at hand. I open up and read; I may read a lot or a little.  It depends. Then I get quiet again and reflect on what is coming to me. Now, with this blog, I am writing it down sharing with you.

Today, I saw that I still had a broken heart. It seemed healed when I fell in love and got married. It seemed healed when my son was born. It seemed healed when I danced. It seemed healed when I raised my hands in ecstasy in church. It seemed healed when I laughed with friends. It seemed healed when I looked with awe at the beauty in nature I saw during my travels. What I thought was a healed heart turned out to be just a momentary distraction. 

I fell  out of love. Friends moved away. Loved ones died. Every time I felt my heart break again. I blamed it on the person or situation. My heart hasn't been breaking over and over. It has never been healed from the original hurt...my mother's rejection.I have never allowed God to heal it.

Today, He showed me that only He can heal a broken heart. Only then will I be whole and stop trying to make other people and situations responsible for my heart. But I have to allow Him to heal me. I have to open myself up to Him. I thought I had, so what do I do now? I take it to God in prayer.